MY PARKINSON’S FRIENDS

MY PARKINSON’S FRIENDS
by Peter G. Beidler
[To the tune of “My Favorite Things” from the Rodgers and Hammerstein Broadway musical, The Sound of Music.]

Walking up stairways I frequently stumble,
Walking down sidewalks I take a bad tumble.
Walking bent over with too-tight hamstrings—
These surely are not my favorite things.

Eating at diners I spill my clam chowder,
When I try talking my friends say, “Talk louder|!.”
I’m driving an old car that I’ve filled with dings—
These surely are not my favorite things.

Typing long emails with letters all jumbled,
I shout, “Anne, I love you,” but she says I’ve mumbled.
I lose playing poker (my Queens yield to Kings)—
These surely are not my favorite things.

When I stumble,
When I mumble,
When I tumble bad,
I simply remember my Parkinson’s friends,
And then I don’t feel so sad.

Sitting all lonely in deep concentration,
Wondering what brought on this tight constipation,
Wishing these dry guts would flow like the springs—
These surely are not my favorite things.

Turning the fan on rank air to expel it,
Thinking, “Why bother, I can’t even smell it?”
I lose table tennis (my pongs come out pings)—
These surely are not my favorite things.

Hand-writing long poems that no one can make out,
Trying to warm my stiff arm with a shake-out,
I walk like a zombie whose arm never swings—
These surely are not my favorite things.

My thoughts jumble,
And I grumble,
Am I going mad?
But then I remember my Parkinson’s friends,
And they make me feel so glad.

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